


Till the End of the Line

by LadyNikita



Series: The Arcana One-Shots [2]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gender-Neutral Apprentice (The Arcana), Hurt/Comfort, Other, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25933282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNikita/pseuds/LadyNikita
Summary: [...]“You’re rambling,” Asra pointed out after taking a sip of his tea.“Right,” Julian took a deep breath, still not facing Asra directly. “So, uh, what I wanted to ask was… could you explain what exactly our relationship, whatever it really was, was to you? Because I keep thinking about it and I can’t wrap my head around some things-““Ilya.” One word from Asra’s mouth and Julian was silent. He finally looked him in the eyes and saw… sadness. That’s not exactly what he’d expected.“Sorry,” he said quietly, but Asra shook his head, closing his eyes and putting the cup away.“I’msorry.”In which I'm an Asrian stan lmao, enjoy!
Relationships: Asra/Julian Devorak
Series: The Arcana One-Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883533
Kudos: 30





	Till the End of the Line

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, it's the same thing that has been written over and over probably a thousand times already, but let's give it another shot, shall we? 
> 
> (Yes I named the Apprentice MC, all names are made up, sue me)
> 
> If you have a prompt about these two idiots, the angstier the better, my tumblr is @queerunicorn, I would appreciate some more inspiration :3

Julian stood in the middle of the street, unsure if he should follow the impulse that his mind – or heart – had been pushing on him for quite a while. Since the Lucio-Devil problem settled down and calm has once again fallen over Vesuvia, Julian’s thoughts ventured into the past. He hadn’t quite had the time to think about it ever since he remembered – a lot of things happened in a short amount of time – but now, when all was settled, his mind started to wander. And so, the doctor found himself in front of the magicians’ shop unsure of his next step.  
_Ah, fuck it_ , he thought finally, and knocked before his head managed to stop him. A lot of thoughts contradicting the idea of talking about it swirled instantly around his head, but he ignored them and stared at the wooden door, examining the cracks and patterns.   
The door flung open and Julian saw MC standing there, smile on their face and a bag in their hands.  
“Hi, Julian!” They greeted him with enthusiasm. “Come on in, how are you?”  
“Oh, erm, I’m good, thanks!” He laughed awkwardly, entering the shop. It was quiet, save for a couple of small bell chimes in the air, and smelled of herbs and incense. MC leaned against the counter and looked at him curiously. “And you? Were you going somewhere?”  
“Yeah, Nadia invited me for dinner tonight and I was about to leave,” they said. “I was gathering herbs to help with her headache.”  
“She’s still having them?” Julian asked, eyebrows raised.  
“Apparently,” they shrugged. “If you have any ideas what might help, I guess she’d be open to them.”  
“Yeah, well, it’s not exactly something I can cure with leeches,” Julian laughed and MC accompanied him. “But I will keep that in mind.”  
“I should leave, it’s getting late,” MC gathered their stuff and looked expectantly at Julian. “Did you need something from me?”  
“Oh, actually I was looking for Asra,” he said, the awkwardness creeping back, flushing his cheeks with a feeble shade of red. Thankfully, no one would be able to see it due to dim light of the twilight.   
“Good, he’s upstairs, reading through something,” they answered, a slight smirk that Julian couldn’t justify appearing on their face. “Goodbye, Julian.”  
“Have fun with Nadia,” he smiled at them and watched them leave. He looked at the stairs and swallowed hard. Without rush, he made his way up and saw Asra with his nose deep in the book, Faust looking at the doctor curiously. A tremor went up Julian’s back at the sight of the snake.   
“Hi, Ilya,” Asra said, putting the book on the nearby table. His expression was inscrutable, though he looked a bit tired.   
“Hello, Asra,” Julian bit his lip, his heart pounding in his chest. “I need to talk to you…” He swallowed hard, not trusting his voice. “About- about the past.”  
Asra froze looking at Julian for a second. Then he sighed, leaning back in his armchair.  
“Take a seat,” he pointed at an armchair on the other side of the table. “Can I offer you some tea?”  
Julian wrinkled his nose just a little, while sitting down carefully. “No, I’ll pass.”   
Asra poured himself a cup and took it to his lips, blowing on it to cool it down.   
“So, what do you wanna talk about?”  
Julian looked away, trying to gather his thoughts into coherent sentences.  
“I haven’t had the chance to talk to you about it, since I regained my memories, there was never a good moment, all with the Devil happenings and such.” Words started spilling out of him. “And then it was all over and I started to think and then overthink what had happened three years ago and- well, erm, at first I didn’t even know where to start, there was so much-”  
“You’re rambling,” Asra pointed out after taking a sip of his tea.  
“Right,” Julian took a deep breath, still not facing Asra directly. “So, uh, what I wanted to ask was… could you explain what exactly our relationship, whatever it really was, was to you? Because I keep thinking about it and I can’t wrap my head around some things-“  
“Ilya.” One word from Asra’s mouth and Julian was silent. He finally looked him in the eyes and saw… sadness. That’s not exactly what he’d expected.  
“Sorry,” he said quietly, but Asra shook his head, closing his eyes and putting the cup away.  
“ _I’m_ sorry.”   
Julian blinked a couple times, processing if he heard right. “Erm… _you’re_ sorry?”  
“Yes, that’s exactly what I said,” Asra opened his eyes to look at him, sorrow painted on his face. It tugged at Julian’s heart to see him like this, but he kept quiet. “I don’t- I can’t really justify my actions. I do regret what I had done to you.”  
Julian felt tears welling up in his eyes, so he started blinking them away, drawing a shaky breath.  
“But why-?”  
“I was devastated,” Asra looked down on the floor, his eyes glistening with tears as well. “After MC- after I came home to receive the news, I just- I was a mess.”  
Julian’s heart sank. Asra never talked about what had happened after MC’s death. He didn’t talk much at all at the time. And Julian had to admit, he was curious, as painful as it was.  
“I remember that night,” he whispered. “You came to the Palace late, asking about them. I was working in the library and-,” Julian shook his head. “I’ll never forget the look on your face when I told you.”  
Asra rubbed his face with a sigh.   
“I went to the Lazaret after.” He continued despite Julian’s shocked face. “Looking for them. All I found was charred bone and ash. I spent the whole night on the beach, digging in the sand.” He looked at his fingers, as if they were still bloody. A couple tears streamed down his cheeks. “A thought of a funeral crossed my mind but it was quickly replaced by everything I knew about necromancy. I knew I had to bring them back. Whatever the cost.”  
Julian had an urge to reach for his hand, to comfort him somehow, but he didn’t know if he was allowed. If it was his place. So, he just sat there, trying to convey his sympathy through his expression.  
“I was working day and night in the library, looking for a way to bring them back,” Asra picked up, still staring at the floor. “Every day was empty, cold and suffocating. And there were you, trying to keep up hope, trying to help people, with your crooked grin.”   
Julian didn’t know if he should feel offended, even though Asra laughed a little when he said that.  
“I wanted to wipe that grin off of your face,” he said quietly. “I couldn’t _stand_ someone being so… hopeful. I wanted you to feel the same emptiness that I felt every day.”  
Julian deflated a little in his seat.   
“It gave me a feeling of control. It gave me something I could have power over. It made me feel better… for a moment.” He finally looked at Julian, his eyes teary and red-rimmed. Julian swallowed hard and nodded stiffly.   
“But it didn’t feel right,” Asra continued. “Both, the cards and Faust were telling me I had to end it.” He scratched Faust’s chin as she headbutted him in the cheek. “And I wanted to. But… It felt good. It made me feel less alone. To have someone to spend the night with… I _dreaded_ sleeping here alone, because it would just emphasize what I had lost.”  
“So…” Julian started with a weak voice. “You had no feelings for me, whatsoever?”  
“I-“ Asra came to a halt, looking Julian in the eyes. Then he sighed and closed his eyes again. “I don’t know.”  
Julian frowned. “You don’t know?”  
“I’m sorry, Ilya, I think- That’s one answer I’m not able to give you,” Asra ran a hand through his hair and Julian thought about doing the same. He quickly pushed the thought away. Not the time.   
“Now or- or ever?” He asked carefully, not sure if it’s a right move. Asra looked at him with a weird expression. Julian couldn’t read the emotions painted on his face.   
“I- I, ugh, I can’t think about this right now, Ilya,” he put his hand to his temple. “But I do think you deserve an answer.”  
He looked at him; Julian was surprised to see genuine fondness in his eyes. Asra reached to take his hand, but stopped in the air, like he was afraid to touch him. Julian looked at the hand hovering above his and then looked up, to meet the magician’s scared gaze. He reached and took Asra’s hand in his, breaking the invisible barrier between them.   
“I suppose I could wait a bit more,” Julian shrugged, his voice teasing, while the inescapable tension tugged at his insides. He _craved_ Asra’s touch. He needed to be closer to him, to run his fingers through his fluffy hair and smell his skin, always hinting at vanilla and herbs. Purple eyes stared at him and he could see Asra felt the tension as well. He ran his thumb over Julian’s palm, causing a tremor to run through his body. “I have one more question, though,” Julian said quietly.  
Asra narrowed his eyes and nodded while Faust slithered off of him and went to hang from the ceiling.   
“Do you love MC?”  
The question surprised him. He opened his eyes wide to look at the doctor.  
“Of course, I love them,” he frowned.  
“No, I mean-,” Julian blinked and swallowed, “Like I-“  
“Oh,” Asra paused. His thumb never stopped drawing circles on Julian’s palm and the magician focused his gaze there for a second. “No. I don’t think so. We never- no. It’s a different kind of love.”  
Julian nodded, enwrapped in thought.   
“First yes, they were just an apprentice. But soon they became like family. They’re my closest friend and- It’s an entirely different kind of bond. It’s like our magics match.”  
“It’s good that they’re back with you then,” Julian agreed, but then a thought struck him. “Wait. You never told me what you had to give up for the deal.”  
Asra made a wry face at the memory. He took his cup and drank the rest of the now cold tea.   
“I gave up a part of my heart,” he said absentmindedly. Julian looked at him with worry.  
“What does that mean?”  
Asra shrugged, avoiding eye-contact. “I don’t know.”  
Julian stared at him for a while, then he cleared his throat.  
“This conversation got way more real that I was planning,” he laughed. Asra gazed at him, amusement glittering in his eyes.   
“I’m glad you came, though,” he said softly. “I do appreciate your company. At times.”  
“You said it, no take backs,” Julian grinned. Asra rolled his eyes. He wanted to get up, but he also didn’t want to let go of Julian’s hand. He thought he wouldn’t miss him and his endless shenanigans but… his touch was comforting and he felt at ease in his presence. Asra found himself thinking about his chest and his long arms around his body…  
“I should probably get going,” Julian’s face got a shade redder as he pulled Asra out of his reveries. He blinked and they both got up in sync, not letting go of each other’s touch. Julian walked closer and touched his shoulder. “Thank you for… well, for talking.”  
Asra smiled and pulled him into a tight hug. Julian, surprised at first, relaxed into it, hiding his face in the crook of Asra’s neck. He automatically ran his hand through his hair, still fluffy and soft.   
“Anytime,” he whispered into his ear, sending a tremor down Julian’s spine. He pulled back a little to look at Asra’s face, stained with past tears, his features softly illuminated by the faint moonlight. His eyes glistened with excitement and Julian felt his gentle touch on his cheek.  
“Ilya…” He started but Julian shook his head.  
“I know,” he answered in a whisper. “I’ll go.”  
“No!” Asra held onto him, as if he was scared, he’d disappear, even though Julian did not make any effort to move; just gave him a surprised look.  
“Asra?” He asked, encouraging him to speak, but Asra stared into his eyes, as if seeing them for the first time.   
“I- I want to kiss you,” he stated with surprise, probably more to himself than to Julian. The doctor’s surprised look quickly changed into a slight grin.   
“Then do it,” he shrugged, the energy between them electric. Asra brushed their lips together. He then pulled away to look at Julian’s face.   
“That wasn’t so bad-“Julian started to laugh but Asra tugged at his collar, pulling him into another kiss. He pinned him against the wall, feeling Julian’s hands supporting his back. After a while of looking for a good place for their noses, their tongues moved in unison, as they melted into the kiss, giving into the tension that had gathered between them since the doctor came in.   
Julian first pulled away, catching his breath.   
“Well, that was- er, unexpected,” he laughed, breathing deeply. Asra smiled and cupped his face.   
“You know, Ilya, I might give it another chance,” he shrugged, tilting his head. “What do you say?”  
Julian looked into his eyes fondly.   
“I’m with you till the end of the line.”

**Author's Note:**

> I promise I did not intend to reference Stucky, but it's such a powerful quote it just Fits


End file.
